Never can imagine this will happen on me......
i admit that i m a Type A personality person, but never know that the feeling of anxiousness can be so severe.
Out of sudden, the feeling of fear and restlessness flooded me. Feel like want to run away but don't know where should i go.........could not focus and control my mind, and a bit of chest tightness.
I checked my pulse rate: ranged from 80 to 90bpm, i am not sweating or trembling...............what happen to me???
Unable to stand and sit still, but walking aimlessly in red zone (my working place). Cases flooded in, and it is indeed a busy night shift. I told myself to be focus on my patients but my soul is flying out of my body.
'I think i m too tired' i mumbled to myself.
Trying my best to shrug off the anxious feeling but to no avail. I can't remember how i survive through the whole night shift and rushed back to my room the second morning. Rejected all the invitations for breakfast, i lied on my bed and forced myself to sleep......................
Few hours later, after awakened from sleep, felt much better. I convinced myself that i have that weird feeling because i m too tired.
Happy enough to enjoy my post 2 night-shift day, i went for a movie with friends. Half way watching the movie, the strange feeling attacked me again.............i felt very agitated, almost wanted to walk away from my seat. I tried to concentrate on the movie but i m not enjoying the movie at all. I m moving restlessly on my seat, and my friend asked me whether i felt cold...........
Keep looking at the watch, i prayed that the movie can finish faster. After 2 hours, it finished and i have no mood to chat with my friend.........i just want to go back faster.................the story does not end here, but i m not going to elaborate anymore.
All these feelings are abnormal and i knew what i should do with it.
God is giving me a mesaage. It is time for me to think what i want in my life..........to slow down my pace of living, to let go when it is supposed to be let go.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
等。。。。。。。
等，是一种煎熬。
等一个可能永远等不到的人，更是痛苦。
每天自我安慰，这一切都是错觉，不可能发生的。
不敢往前走，反而向后退。
我不是存心要拒绝你，只是深怕掉入你无心佈的陷阱里。
你是否能了解我忐忑不安的心情？？
等一个可能永远等不到的人，更是痛苦。
每天自我安慰，这一切都是错觉，不可能发生的。
不敢往前走，反而向后退。
我不是存心要拒绝你，只是深怕掉入你无心佈的陷阱里。
你是否能了解我忐忑不安的心情？？
Friday, February 5, 2010
Emergency meeting??? Something that i couldn't tell HOD
HOD held an emergency meeting with all housemen at 10pm two days ago.....yea, it is 10 pm, not 10am. What is so emergency here??
Someone wrote an anonymous letter to HOD and hospital director complaining nurses not doing their job.....and our 'smart' HOD pointed the finger towards house officers.
He said:" I am sure this is written by housemen."
Well, we are being accused without any evidence and the pity situation is we can't fight back. 'BOSS is always RIGHT'
Then, seems like a brainstorming session to solve the issue. HOD wanted us to voice out our opinion, and it turned out to be HO took turn to tell HOD regarding their encounter with some lazy or irresponsible nurses.
HOD seems to understand at the beginning (my delusion), but at the end, he concluded that housemen must do all the job including the nurses job.
I knew that there was no job scope between HO n nurses job and hard to get a line between it in A and E department.
But we already helped to do ECG, take vital signs, set line, take blood, give medications everyday at work. I thought we are helping the nurses and medical assistants to do all these, but now, according to HOD, these are our job and nurses are actually helping us..........???!!!! Then, they are trained for what, or ask them to sit at counter and get paid for nothing??
Boss, please be more fair to us, we are part of ur 'family' (as mentioned by boss). Don't pretend to listen to us.......but u are listening to your nurses only. Anyway, though i never read that complaint letter, i m sure some of the points are true.
Don't say that we are more lucky if compared to your time as a HO when there were more job than ours. Our world is improving and time has changed everything.........i am sure the nurses during your HO time were more efficient than the nurses nowadays (this is quoted from a retired nurse that i saw in gynae clinic 2 mths ago). We will be glad and grateful if you can say that HO, nurses and MAs must play their role and fulfill own responsibilties instead of putting all the tasks on us, bear in mind, we still have to clerk cases and learn to manage patients.
Someone wrote an anonymous letter to HOD and hospital director complaining nurses not doing their job.....and our 'smart' HOD pointed the finger towards house officers.
He said:" I am sure this is written by housemen."
Well, we are being accused without any evidence and the pity situation is we can't fight back. 'BOSS is always RIGHT'
Then, seems like a brainstorming session to solve the issue. HOD wanted us to voice out our opinion, and it turned out to be HO took turn to tell HOD regarding their encounter with some lazy or irresponsible nurses.
HOD seems to understand at the beginning (my delusion), but at the end, he concluded that housemen must do all the job including the nurses job.
I knew that there was no job scope between HO n nurses job and hard to get a line between it in A and E department.
But we already helped to do ECG, take vital signs, set line, take blood, give medications everyday at work. I thought we are helping the nurses and medical assistants to do all these, but now, according to HOD, these are our job and nurses are actually helping us..........???!!!! Then, they are trained for what, or ask them to sit at counter and get paid for nothing??
Boss, please be more fair to us, we are part of ur 'family' (as mentioned by boss). Don't pretend to listen to us.......but u are listening to your nurses only. Anyway, though i never read that complaint letter, i m sure some of the points are true.
Don't say that we are more lucky if compared to your time as a HO when there were more job than ours. Our world is improving and time has changed everything.........i am sure the nurses during your HO time were more efficient than the nurses nowadays (this is quoted from a retired nurse that i saw in gynae clinic 2 mths ago). We will be glad and grateful if you can say that HO, nurses and MAs must play their role and fulfill own responsibilties instead of putting all the tasks on us, bear in mind, we still have to clerk cases and learn to manage patients.
Monday, February 1, 2010
If You Are The One
好几年前，在百货市场看到了一个fridge magnet， 有一些可爱的图案和一句话：One of four people are unbalanced, think of three friends， if they seem OK, then you're the one.
我英文不太好，不明白那句话的意思，请教了身边的朋友，原来意思就是“你觉得和三位朋友相处的不好，想想那三位朋友，如果他们都没什么，那问题就出在你的身上。”
那一刻，觉得这句话很有意思，就把它买了下来。
人有时就是这样，出了问题后，就会把矛头指向别人。 很少人会静下来，想一想：问题到底在哪里？
在你想向人发脾气时，试试停顿一下，他这样说或做，是否有其他意思？
是不是自己有那里不好，让他这样对待我？
当你和朋友之间出了问题，一味的说他的不是。。。。。根本就是最差的表达方式。没能解决问题，还会让你们的关系一直恶化下去。“If he seems OK, then you are the ONE" 如果他成天都不想和你争论下去，是时候反省了，因为有问题的可能是你！！你觉得你自己对他很好，但不代表他觉得自在。可能他有他想要的相处方式，不一定要跟着你的步伐走。 你。。。。是否忽略了他的感受？？
有时，在适当的时候保持沉默，不代表你在逃避问题，只是给自己冷静的空间，不做伤害对方的事或说出伤害对方的话。在忍耐的时候会很痛苦， 不过当你想通了的时候，你会很庆幸你和他依然是好朋友。
本人不是什么人生道理专家， 只是将自己的想法和经验说出来， 和大家分享。 人际关系，是很复杂的东西，我们一辈子都学不完。。。。。
我英文不太好，不明白那句话的意思，请教了身边的朋友，原来意思就是“你觉得和三位朋友相处的不好，想想那三位朋友，如果他们都没什么，那问题就出在你的身上。”
那一刻，觉得这句话很有意思，就把它买了下来。
人有时就是这样，出了问题后，就会把矛头指向别人。 很少人会静下来，想一想：问题到底在哪里？
在你想向人发脾气时，试试停顿一下，他这样说或做，是否有其他意思？
是不是自己有那里不好，让他这样对待我？
当你和朋友之间出了问题，一味的说他的不是。。。。。根本就是最差的表达方式。没能解决问题，还会让你们的关系一直恶化下去。“If he seems OK, then you are the ONE" 如果他成天都不想和你争论下去，是时候反省了，因为有问题的可能是你！！你觉得你自己对他很好，但不代表他觉得自在。可能他有他想要的相处方式，不一定要跟着你的步伐走。 你。。。。是否忽略了他的感受？？
有时，在适当的时候保持沉默，不代表你在逃避问题，只是给自己冷静的空间，不做伤害对方的事或说出伤害对方的话。在忍耐的时候会很痛苦， 不过当你想通了的时候，你会很庆幸你和他依然是好朋友。
本人不是什么人生道理专家， 只是将自己的想法和经验说出来， 和大家分享。 人际关系，是很复杂的东西，我们一辈子都学不完。。。。。
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)